Hear Our Voice

I don’t think I have felt this unmoored and simultaneously excited about the High Holy Days since 1994, when, as a second-year rabbinic student, I found myself planning for my first High Holy Days in Merced, California. Merced, they say is the gateway to Yosemite, but for me at that time, Merced just represented the gateway to “H” “E”, “Double Hockey Sticks.”

I remember a feeling of dread that was ironically undermined by my somewhat blind confidence in myself, like I was moving forward yet feeling like I should be more afraid.  Lately, I keep hearing myself saying, “I feel like I’m inventing the wheel here.” Not that I’m the only Rabbi or Cantor out there wading through these very uncharted waters; no, my fantastic colleagues and I are all engaged in mounting something truly brand new. Without exaggeration, this is literally the first time in all of Jewish history that the vast majority of Jews in the world will be fasting at home. I am incredibly grateful today.  Not for COVID, but for the technology that exists so that we CAN reinvent the wheel. Our High Holy Days will be different than what we’re used to but…

• you do get to sit wherever you want.
• you do get to turn up or down Your volume.
• you do get to experience the excitement of “live TV” as much of our webcast will indeed be live (don’t worry, we’ll have recorded pieces as back-up!)
• and you do get to be very much, as much as you want, where you wish to be on this day in your heart and mind.

About that last one, I’d like to linger.  I know there has been a lot of hand-wringing, worry and concern about the loss of our traditional “staging” and what we’re used to, but this is indeed a space in which Shma Koleinu excels!  These High Holy Days offer a unique opportunity to assess and re-envision what we invest into these days, not only in the community, but as individuals. Certainly, one of the most powerful constructs of the High Holy Days experience is that we spend most of our time in services, praying in the first-person plural.  We pray to OUR God, OUR King, OUR Sovereign, OUR Ruler; we confess OUR sins, we seek to take responsibility for the transgressions of OUR society – Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel always comes to mind here - “In a free society, not everyone is guilty but each one of us is responsible.” It is truly a gift, these words of prayer and meditation that we inherit.

And perhaps this year, NOT physically surrounded by the many, these words may be able to blossom for us in ways, as of yet experienced.  Don’t just wait to hear the “Book of Life” speaker offer their answer; what is your answer to what it means to write oneself into the Book of Life?  Bring a journal to the High Holy Days this year; record voice memos of thoughts that arise; turn down the volume and turn instead to your loved one, your partner, your friend and share your response, and then offer your ear to theirs. 

Many of us have loved ones who are no longer here, and are thus unable to participate in offering this prayer, this year.  Consider those, who perhaps you sat next to, or those who sat  next to your friends or family last year, who are today with God and not with us. Call to mind the 155,000+ individuals who (as of August 6) have lost their lives to COVID, leaving millions of family members shell shocked.  Consider the promises, the vows, the connections that can no longer be claimed.  Losses, deaths and tragedies of course happen every year but this year feels different… because it is. My prayer for you and for each one of us, is that you will allow this year to be different – not just circumstantially but spiritually. That you will allow yourself to be impacted by the resonance of 1000 generations.  That you will remain open to the echoes of our people’s supplications upon your eardrums, and that you will allow your heart to break.  As Hillel asked, “Im lo achshav, ay-matay?” “If not now, when?”  It has always been true that the High Holy Days implore us to show up in our fullness for it is never enough, even when the Rabbi inspires and the Cantor overwhelms, if you are not truly there.  “Im lo achshav, ay-matay?” “If not now, when?”